self-realization.

since my last post, not much has changed.

life is busy.

and it's been showing unfortunately.

i wonder if i'll ever not look tired.

i wonder if i'll ever have full faith.

i wonder if i'll ever meet all expectations and more.

i wonder if i'll ever not be selfish.

i wonder if i'll ever not have an attitude.

i wonder if i'll ever not defend myself so quickly,

when someone is only trying to help.

i wonder if i'll truly change these things that i do not like.

i've put up a wall due to the hurt i've had.

i've become tougher because of the daily battles i fight.

and all has brought me to a person that i don't know.

i apologize to anyone and everyone i have ever hurt by my actions or by my words.  i don't pay enough attention of what i say or do and how it has affected others.  and for that, which i cannot take back, i am deeply sorry. know that i am learning and i strive to change that side of me...

[i also apologize that this post was a bit more personal, 

but felt it was necessary]