legacy.

one thing to know about me: i love working-out.

now, with that said, i do not work out as often as i would like to.

[aside from this morning when i ran a 5K race in honor of Kirk Goodwin. my time was 30.32!]

but lately, i've been athletically involved in a intramural team for volleyball.

our team is siggie white. and we are fun.

we are not serious by any means, but have a great time playing.

and to be honest, we're not all that bad. although our record remains 0-2...

i was declared captain by my teammates at our first game.

i have created one rule, and one rule only: always give high-fives.

no matter how awful or how good the person did, always high-five!

during the first game, i felt like such an influence to these girls, even if it was just by encouragement. i'm the only senior on the team and i felt like a captain.

to be honest, i don't know what made me think of high-fives, 

but i did have an epiphany.

i graduate college in 5 weeks. what kind of legacy am i leaving for these girls? what will they say of me when i am gone? what can i do to make a little bit of difference in their mind? or to stand out against the sea of followers... and then it hit me, high-fives. as silly as it may seem, i want to just be a leader even if it is only by the encouraging words that i can give. it's been a rough year with wasted time on my own self. i want to give back to these amazing girls that are in my daily life only for a little bit longer. 

i love volleyball but more so, i love our team. since the first game, when i run into these girls around campus, we always high-five and then a big hug. i ask how they're doing and we leave feeling loved. i guess even something simple can begin to bring people together no matter where they are at in life...

just a thought.

peace, love, and high-fives.

self-realization.

since my last post, not much has changed.

life is busy.

and it's been showing unfortunately.

i wonder if i'll ever not look tired.

i wonder if i'll ever have full faith.

i wonder if i'll ever meet all expectations and more.

i wonder if i'll ever not be selfish.

i wonder if i'll ever not have an attitude.

i wonder if i'll ever not defend myself so quickly,

when someone is only trying to help.

i wonder if i'll truly change these things that i do not like.

i've put up a wall due to the hurt i've had.

i've become tougher because of the daily battles i fight.

and all has brought me to a person that i don't know.

i apologize to anyone and everyone i have ever hurt by my actions or by my words.  i don't pay enough attention of what i say or do and how it has affected others.  and for that, which i cannot take back, i am deeply sorry. know that i am learning and i strive to change that side of me...

[i also apologize that this post was a bit more personal, 

but felt it was necessary]