christmas blues.

i love Christmas. there is a rush that is like no other. like you are giving and selfish all at the same time, but it's okay because it's Christmas. i mean, we're supposed to have a wishlist right? and of course we'll buy people other gifts, greater than what they got us, even if our pocketbooks really can't handle it. i mean it may take people all year to make up the difference of money spent at Christmas, just in time to spend it all again. i mean it's a lot to spend on, especially with the fact that it takes the whole month (even some of november) to prepare and celebrate the joyous occasion, i mean it's just wild. and please don't get me wrong because ... i LOVE Christmas! but now that it is gone, i have a case of the Christmas blues...

all of our extended family were together for Christmas eve and Christmas day. they all left really early the very next morning and it just seems so odd. i mean i've been listening to all the tunes, watched all the movies, and baked all the goods. and now it's all over. it's like i can't listen to the music anymore because the day is gone. and the food, well once we've eaten it all, there's no time or effort left to make more. after all, we only had Christmas shaped cookie cutters anyway...

i mean, let's be real. Christmas is the only holiday that we celebrate for more than the actual day. like i said, we take the whole month to prepare for it. and within the simple stroke of midnight, it's done. and you get a sense of .."what was all my hard work really for?"..

i get the Christmas blues every year. i'm just now letting it all out...hah. Christmas has been more of an emotional time for me this year than i thought it would be. my prayer now will be that God will still be the reason for the season in my heart and in the hearts of my loved ones for any and all seasons that are to come. hopefully all the hullabuloo won't leave me so blue for long :)

thanks for listening.

comfort/inspiration.

it goes without saying: life is hard.

but sometimes we go through phases that are just... harder.

this last semester has been a struggle but also a big lesson.

i have dealt with a lot of loss but God is faithful to His words:

 "you are not alone" and "i will never leave you nor forsake you"

anyways, through the pain and heartache, God has been true.

i've been blessed to grow closer with my family, esp my sister, through it all...

along with growing in old friendships and creating new ones.

my sister sent me this email about an interview with Rick Warren, who wrote Purpose Driven Life.  below are the wise words that gave me comfort and inspiration (it's a little long, but stick with it):

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?

And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity.  We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.  I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity.  This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal.  God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God FOR God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.  The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life.  The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

......

I used to think life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountain, back and forth.  I don't believe that anymore.  Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.  And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

.......

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions?  Popularity?  Am I going to be driven by pressures?  Guilt?  Bitterness?  Materialism?  Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better.  God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list.  He's more interested in what I am than what I do.  That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.

Painful moments, TRUST GOD.

Every moment, THANK GOD.

...that is all :)

sudoku.

i love sudoku because it makes me feel smart when i'm all done!
and its relaxing but i'm still working my brain all at the same time.

i love numbers.. but i have always seem to struggle with math. i was a waitress for about 4 years and found a fascination when the numbers on the receipts would make certain patterns.

from what i know people think in numbers or in words or in pictures. but what does it interpret to? i feel as though i am a medium thinker of all three of these. but i also know of some who only think in pictures and cannot form words in their mind.
anyone educated in this matter, feel free to share.


peace, love, and numbers.

a semester's end.

well its been a long time coming.
both this school year AND me writing a blog.
i wouldn't be on here really if it weren't for my sister.
i suppose thats a complaint and a thanks ;)

like i said, this semester has been rough.
for the last two weeks of class, i had over 11 projects/papers due :0
and of course exam week consisted of: 3papers & 3tests!!
thank God it is all finally over...
but i'm grateful because i feel as though i may have learned more in this year than i can ever remember. and i know this next semester will be amazing! and i'll again learn so much.

graduation is in 143 days.
where to go from there?
i'm looking at out of state...
nashville? chicago? boston? colorado springs?
i'm completely open to suggestions!

this was a lame post..
better luck next time :)